Monday, June 14, 2010

Starting Over Win Your Love Back

Starting Over................
Win Your Ex Lover Back

Win your love back. It slipped away before you had a chance to realize what was happening. It seems like everything happened so quickly, like a tornado that came out of nowhere and destroyed everything that the two of you had worked so hard at building. The results were devastating. Now you are left walking through the rubble trying to find out if there is anything worth saving. To win your love back is going to be a huge challenge.

To try and win your love back, first look to see if there is anything able to be salvaged. Look through all that remains, take a hard look at everything and see the damage that was done. It could be that the damage due to the break up was too much and there really isn’t anything left to save. Hopefully, this is not the case but, unfortunately, it is true many times.

Also take a critical look at everything and see if trying to win your love back is even something that you want to even try and do. Winning your love back is going to be hard work and you just went through an exhausting time in your life.

Does it make sense to try and put these pieces of the failed romance and/or marriage back together? Will you just be banging your head against the wall? Do they even want to try and work with you or even want to win your love back? Ask yourself these hard questions. It could save you a lot of added and unnecessary grief.

Now, once you have decided that it is worth it to try and win your love back, clean up. Get rid of all the things that cluttered up your life and made it difficult. This is a great chance to go in and take only what was good about your love and leave behind the bad stuff. If there was something that complicated things between the two of you, leave it behind. You really need to focus your energy on building on the more solid foundations of your love.

What was it that made your love special? What were the best things about your love? What was it that made it special and really makes you want to win your love back? Focus on these things and use them as the cornerstone and foundation of winning your love back.

One mistake that many make when they want to rebuild a relationship is that they try and rebuild it exactly the way it was before it started falling apart. The truth is, if it wasn’t strong enough to withstand the storms that came the first time, it won’t be strong the next time. Try to build it better than it was before. Don’t live in the past, build on the good things and leave behind the things that made what you have weak enough to be destroyed. Win your love back and make it stronger than ever before.




Friday, June 11, 2010


When Peter asked, “Lord, if my brother sins, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times? “ Jesus responded, “ I say to you, not seven but seventy times seven…”

Jesus was not alone in exhorting the virtues of forgiving those who have offended us. He is joined by a multitude of other voices: Muhammad, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr. and so many others including new age gurus. But the list does not stop here – now even the scientists are joining the chorus. And if they are to be believed, forgiveness may just hold the key to many of the societal and physical ills that plague our world and our bodies.

Forgiveness is a big word. Anyone who has experienced the pain inflicted by the brutal acts of another knows that to forgive is so very much easier said than done. How can one expect a rape victim to forgive her rapist? Or the parents of a son whose life was taken away by a drunk driver to forgive the person who has so irresponsibly denied their son the promises and possibilities of life?

As we go on living our lives, the list of “fogiveables” continually increases. Your friend betrays you. A stranger snatches your purse. Your partner breaks off with you. The boss shouts at you without reason… and the list goes on and on. No wonder that Jesus said we need to forgive hundreds of times!

Time and again we are told that forgiveness is alchemy for the soul and lifts the humongous weight of anger off our chests. It releases us from the need to seek revenge. Those who have chosen to tread the path of forgiveness tell us that it is the best medicine for self-healing. Still and all, we sometimes find it hard to forgive. But perhaps the problem lies not so much in our unwillingness to forgive than in our confusion about the meaning of forgiveness. What exactly does it mean to forgive?

The meaning of the word

The dictionary tells us that to forgive means to give up resentment of or claim to requital for; to grant relief from payment; to excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon. With these definitions, many have come to believe that to forgive means to say to the offender: “You have wronged me and I have been hurt. But I am going to forget about this now.”

Without doubt, the act of forgiving is one of the most difficult lessons we will have to face time and again. But does forgiveness mean to forget? Does forgiving automatically free the offender from the task of taking responsibility for his/her actions? Perhaps we have to look beyond the definitions and go deeper and explore the roots of the word to find out exactly what it means to forgive.

In ancient Greek language, the word for forgiveness is aphesis and it means to let go. It is from this definition that the deeper meaning of forgiveness can be had – and from this perspective, we see that the act of forgiving is a process and a means of releasing. But who releases and who is being released?

There is a story about a sage and his disciple. One day the sage told the disciple: “Think of all the people who have hurt you, especially those you cannot forgive. For each of them, inscribe the name on a potato and put all the potatoes in a sack.” The disciple did as he was told and soon the sack was heavy. The sage told the disciple to carry the sack on his back all the time for one week. In time the disciple was burdened by the weight of the sack After one week, the sage asked the disciple what he had learned. 

“When we are unable to forgive others, we carry negative feelings with us everywhere, much like these potatoes. That negativity becomes a burden to us and, after a while, it festers,“ the disciple answered.

We are the ones burdened by the energies of anger and hatred when we choose not to forgive. But when we choose to forgive, we release ourselves from the weight of these negative emotions and allow the healing power of forgiveness to work to its wonders on our being. As we forgive and let go, we are released and we are healed.

And what about the repercussions of the painful acts committed against us? In modern times, one of the best examples of forgiveness that the world has seen was when Pope John Paul II visited and forgave the man who shot him. The Pope spent precious moments with his attacker and even hugged him. But he did not ask that the man be freed. The Pope let go of his anger and forgave, but inspite of this the assailant had to pay for his crime.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said: “To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things: the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.”

However, when I talk of forgiveness I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person: A better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred. Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator. If you can find it in heart to forgive then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person too.”

Misconceptions about Forgiveness

We think that when we forgive, we need to reconcile. Forgiveness may at times point to us the direction we need to take, and it may also provide the thrust we need to move out of relationships that are no longer working for our highest good. When this is the case, we may simply have to let go and silently change directions.

Life often teaches us through the circumstances in our lives and before we can forgive, we must take the time to go deep within and ask ourselves how the situation has hurt us, how it has changed us, and what lessons we can take from it.

For those whose lives have been tragically altered by the mindlessness of others, this process can take a long time because the wounding could be very deep. Forgiveness is a process and it is one that must not be rushed. The important thing is to take the first step: Make the decision to forgive. This will allow the healing process to begin and take its own course.

Forgiveness as Medicine

These are interesting times indeed. Since the 1990s a new science has been developing – one that validates what the greatest religious teachers have all along been telling us : Forgiveness is good for us. Finally, the science of forgiveness is showing the world that this oft-repeated and debated word is not only a balm for the soul, but is good for our bodies as well.

Hundreds of research studies had been conducted on forgiveness and to date forgiveness scientists have seen that people who learn to forgive are less susceptible to cardiovascular problems and other stress-related ailments. A Mayo Clinic journal reported that people who could not forgive showed increased blood pressure and heart rates. Simply thinking about forgiving was found to have a “fascinating, quelling effect” which can help ease pain, relieve depression and improve cardiovascular function.

Although this science is still in its infancy and more research needs to be done, the good news is that science is finally catching up with the ancient precepts.

Powered by WebRing.
Powered by WebRing.

Why Do I Want My Ex girlfriend / boyfriend Back?

Why Do I Want My Ex Back........?

 Why Do I Want My Ex girlfriend / boyfriend Back? This has been the cry of many who have been unable to let go of a love that has past them by. It is an understandable question to ask. Common sense tells you that you need to move on. Most of your closest friends are hoping that you would. Your ex girlfriend / boyfriend most likely is wishing that you could move on. So why is it that you have to keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex girlfriend / boyfriend back?”

When you are asking, “Why do I want my ex girlfriend / boyfriend back?” consider what has just happened. You were in a love relationship of some kind, may be a marriage. It may have lasted a long time or only a short time but in either case, you had a lot invested in it. It is hard to let go of things and ideas that you may have been really attached to.

Most people do not enter into relationships lightly. They go into them hoping for something that will last a long time and just want love. You have dreams of the way that things could be. You have an idea of the way things should be. For some reason it doesn't happen. The bubble bursts on your idea and then you are left hanging on. It made such good and almost perfect sense at the time and then it is gone. You have to adjust to the idea that what you saw isn't there anymore if it was at all.

Was it love or just the idea of being in love? The lines get so confusing sometimes. Was the love ever there? It is very likely that it was at one point. The only problem was that it wasn't permanent. The two of you became incredibly important parts of each other. You get used to having certain things or people attached to you and when they are gone your mind may have trouble adjusting. There are those who have lost limbs who still feel a phantom itch in the appendage that is now gone. There are still brain cells that are telling you that what isn't there itches and there isn't a thing you can do about it unless you retrain your brain.

The same thing is true for those who were intimately attached to someone, whether it was romantic or platonic in nature. If those people are removed for some reason, those parts of your brain that had grown accustomed to that loved one being there will have to adjust. While your brain is adjusting to the change, you are left thinking about them almost against your will.

If you are frustrated because you keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex girlfriend / boyfriend back?” don't get too distraught over it. It may help you to get some advice on how to get over a relationship from someone who has been there or who understands and has helped others. It is only natural that you will have trouble with it. Give it some time, get some help, and get distracted and in time you will no longer be asking, “Why do I want my ex girlfriend / boyfriend back?”


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Breaking up Tips

The Smart Way To 
End A Relationship  

8:00 AM - Go To Work
9:15 AM - Office meeting
1:30 PM  - Sales presentation
6:00 PM - Break up with my significant other

Breaking up Tips

Let's face it, for most of us, that kind of schedule looks pretty funny. While we may not schedule a break up that way, there are times when something needs to be done, and somebody needs to make the first move. A lot of relationships last much longer than they probably should for no other reason than breaking up isn't an easy thing to do.

Relationships typically end in a few basic ways. There is the dramatic break up. This type can be very sudden and usually involves strong words or actions. There is the mutual break up where both parties come to the realization that it's over, and do so at the same time. It's almost as if it happens by magic. It's also the most rare. Finally, there is the slow break up. This is characterized by things degrading over time. The sad thing is that neither party may even know they are headed for a break up until it's far too late.

So, how can you end a bad relationship 
without either party getting hurt?

The first step is to know why you want to break up. But don't assume that the first reason you come up with is the real reason. You need to find the underlying cause of wanting to break up. Having a clear and accurate idea of why you're breaking up will make the process go smoother for both parties. That's because you will be operating from a position of honesty, and that's key.

Set a time to discuss things that is convenient for both of you. If at all possible do this face-to-face. It's really not the kind of thing that should be handled via e-mail or over the phone. The only exception s for long-distance relationships where you won't be able to get together for a while. It's better to end things quickly, than it is to delay the inevitable.

Keeping things positive when ending a relationship is a smart move. Just because you are ending a romance doesn't mean you have to make an enemy. Be nice to each other and treat each other with respect. Don't get defensive, and don't make the other person defensive, either. If they start crying, be compassionate. At the same time, be aware that it may be an attempt to manipulate you. You can still be nice, but don't let them make you do something you don't really want to do.

Finally, at this stage, getting back together in the future is probably the last thing on your mind. However, it is always a possibility. By ending a relationship the right way, you will have a better chance of being together at a later time, should that be something you would like to do. Either way, breaking doesn't have to be hard to do. Follow the tips above and you can both move on and be happy that you did.



Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I was s a jerk off

How Can A Jerk Get Woman Back.........

If you are trying to get a woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get a woman back.

Here’s what you need to do to 
know how to get a woman back:

1) Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.

2) Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.

3) Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get a woman back.

4) Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.

5) Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well. She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.

6) Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you especially if you hurt her and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends, then you have developed a win situation and you have won the major parts of the battle. If you try and get your ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?

7) Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. Actions are louder than your words - so prove it.

8) Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get your or any or a woman back ever.  





how can i get my ex back

Be Sneaky To Get An Ex Back

To get an ex back you may have to learn how to be sneaky. Getting back together with you may be the last thing on their mind but it is at the forefront of yours. You will have to learn to be more covert in how you interact with this person so they don’t know what you are up to.

Trying to figure out how to get back an ex is something that many people try to do who weren’t ready for the relationship or marriage to end. Any divorce or break up usually has one person that is still hanging. It might be obvious to the person that wants to move on that you weren’t ready to and want to get an ex back.

Do things that make is look like you are ready to move on and that you aren’t trying to get an ex back. Have fun. Go out with friends and have a blast. Don’t try and rub their nose in it. Be obvious to their friends, though, that you are going out and having fun. Word will get back to them that you are back and if you are moving forward faster than what they are, it might bother them.

When the two of you do talk, don’t fill their head with all these things that you are doing. Just let them know that you are happy. It will be easy to try and make them feel jealous. This may happen anyway. Try and make it seem like their life is worth being happy about as well. It may not seem like it but this will go a long way in trying to get back an ex. You are trying to make them feel like a more stable and independent person and that is a quality that most people are drawn to.

Give it some time. You may think about them every day but you don’t need to let them know about that for a while. It may be too obvious that you are only interested in trying to get an ex back. Wait a couple weeks and then call them up or send them a message asking how things are going. Sound as much like an old friend as you can. Think about how old friends have tried to get back in touch with you and do the same thing.

When/if they start talking, just let them talk. They will be more likely to be drawn to someone who values what they have to say and that may be a huge difference from the way things may have been. You may need them but let them get to a point where they value having you because you will listen to them. You may find them needing you and trying to get an ex back.

After you have been able to keep this up and re-develop a friendship they may want to get back together with you. While you may consider yourself pursuing them, you may find yourself being pursued. It is very likely, though, that you won’t have to make the first move. It could be they would rather do it themselves. The best way to get an ex back is to have them wanting to get you back.



Monday, June 7, 2010

9 Ways To Get Ex Back

9 Ways To Get Ex Back Hating You

So you want to know ways to get ex back in love with you? Be careful what actions you take in your efforts to get ex back. If you aren’t careful you may find more ways to get ex back hating you instead of loving you. Here are ways to get ex back hating you. If you don’t want your ex to hate you then DO NOT do these things.

Call them several times a day. This will bug them like crazy and may cause them to block your number. You can always get more numbers, though. Disposable phones and using friend’s cell phones are easy ways to get this done. Keep writing them and letting them know how much you miss them. Letters, Emails, and Text Messages can hit them from several directions. Leave notes on their windshield. This is a great way to get their attention (and wrath).

Remind them frequently of things that they said and promises they made. Who says that things have to change? They said it once, so they must have meant it forever and just forgot. Constantly remind them. You will only be reminding them how good an idea it was to leave you.

Follow/Stalk them and let them know that every minute they live, you are right there. Every single breathe they take, you’ll be watching them. Be sure to grin whenever they see you. They will think your crazy and you may scare them. Be ready for the restraining order.

Bother their friends. Ask them constantly how they are doing and see if you can find out where they are going to be. Try to go everywhere that the friends are. Most likely they will be trying to get rid of you.

Call their new love interest and let the new flame know that you are the real love and it is only a matter of time before your ways to get ex back works. More than likely you will end up making both of them hate you and they could end up becoming closer because of the harassing you do.

Call their parents and try to be their parent’s best friend. You will only get the parents mad at you as well or drive a wedge between your ex and his parents. Either way, you have given your ex more reason to hate you. Try dating their best friend. Your efforts to make them jealous may end up ruining another of their relationships. Sooner or later the best friend will realize that you are just using them and you will be alone again. Call their workplace and ask about him or ask to talk to him. That will be a great way to get your ex back hating you, especially if it costs them their job.

There are ways to get ex back in love with you but get help and find out what things work. Be careful who you try to get help from. If they have a successful, long lasting romance or are trained at giving relationship advice, then they are good to get help from. If they have had a lot of short term relationships they may not be the best one to get help from. Follow your heart if you want to get ex back, but be careful what you do. Not all ways to get ex back that come to you naturally will make them love you again.